Drifus' Travels

If you have read any of this site in the past few years you would know that I have a dear friend who has terminal cancer. This is not the first time I have been around someone dying of cancer, I am becoming a pro and I am not proud of that.

Here is the issue, Beth fell a few days ago and almost broke her nose. She got dizzy and was out of breath and fell. She remembers falling just before she hit the floor. Here oldest son heard her fall and found her on the floor with blood on her clothes and on the floor. So he made some calls, to me, hospice and one of her brothers.

Next thing I know there is a standing order that she can not be left unattended 24 x 7. Now she has fallen twice before a month ago or so and only sustained bruises. Now before you get opinionated keep reading.

So since the fall she has been assisted to the point that she is almost bed ridden. I was over there the other day and she wanted to get a new pair of readers and a puzzle box from Walgreens. Then the discussion went down the path that she can’t go unless there is 2 people with her (she has a wheelchair if needed and portable oxygen). Then the conversation went to she could go closer to when she woke up from a nap so she would have more strength. Then the subject changed to something else to avoid a resolution.
The other things are decisions being made for her more or less without her input.

I honestly think that doing this or treating people like this speeds up their incapacitation, making life harder on the person who is ill and then adding stress to the caretakers. (Who don’t realize this) I know her family has her best interests in mind but she does not have brain cancer, she can still walk, talk etc. She understands that she should take more time to get out of bed and that asking for assistance is ok. Though she is a DNR, even she doesn’t want to die by falling at home.

So if you read this, thanks. Be patient, spend time discussing things with them. Just because they can not answer you as if they were 20-something, listen and take what they think and feel into consideration.

I am sure this will rub some people. It is my observation as I have been down this road with my mom and Beth when she had cancer earlier and I was the ONLY one caring for her.

Nite

Well I hadn’t talked to Beth all day and didn’t want to call her and possibly wake her up. So after work yesterday I made up a bunch of spaghetti and a batch of brownies. I put together 3 small portions in containers and 3 small individually wrapped brownies and took them over to her. Keith and JoAnn were there and just finished up working on Beth’s SSD & SSI (Social Security), hopefully they will approve the application immediately but we will see. Beth looked good and seemed up as much as up can be these days. David, Keith and I think JoAnn are taking shifts to watch Beth around the clock so she doesn’t fall again. Larry should be back from his cruise later this week and then things might change as to where Beth would stay. Anyway so I stayed about an hour or so and had to leave to get my other car from the shop.

Well as most of you know from reading this atrocity on the internet my last long term relationship was with a woman named Beth. She has been diagnosed with cancer and just a few months to live. She is 53. Check your bucket list, still got time? Well yesterday morning she fell when try to get out of bed. It appears that she fell on her face but was able to get her elbows out to minimize what probably could have been worse. He nose did get crushed and of course it was bloody. Her son David heard the noise and went up to see and he said that she was not breathing and have to give her CPR. He cleaned her up and the mess all over the floor, then got her back in bed. He called Hospice and then called me.

At first I thought this is the call I do not want, but when I heard what had happened I was less worried. So I grabbed my work laptop and headed over to her house. Besides her nose she look good, she was awake, conscientious and glad to see me. I think David was glad I came over as fast as I did. Well long story short I spent the day working from the foot of her bed to insure that she did not leave her bed unattended. Her youngest brother (Keith) made if over before 4 pm and we all talk for about an hour or so with the social worker Kay. Then Keith made a run to Steak n Shake and bought the three of us dinner, Beth, me and himself, David was asleep. After dinner we talked about nothing in general at 8:45 pm I decided to go home and catch back up on things.

Yea it’s been six months since I last posted but that is the privilege I get for having a blog that no one reads.

Well recently I have decided to re-write my site layout using HTML5 and CSS3. Most of it is done and one the specifications are finished I am sure I will make more changes.

House is in a holding pattern, I am really waiting till winter comes so I can go back in the attic without turning into a raisin in .5 seconds.

Online dating well as always it has it’s good days and bad days, but I am taking it less serious as it’s really just another game in life. I have a PS/2 if I want to play a game I will load one and play. I really think online dating is more a popularity contest that people play with their friends. Between 1 and 10% are people actually hoping to find someone. I rest put up a profile to see what happens and they compare notes with their friends. I have met a lot of great women through online dating, heck the only friends I have are women, kind of funny. I wish them all of the hope and luck, as everyone should have someone with whom they can love and confide to without judgment.

I went to my first singles party, I talked to 2 people, both who I met a year ago. We spent time catching up, it was kind of fun to go to my first event and know people. I am sure I will go again, this one was great as there was no band playing so loud you couldn’t talk to someone. I like listening to bands but when you are trying to meet someone, either turn the band down some or have the party on a NON band night. A DJ or just good Muzak will do just fine.

Well, so maybe I am back to writing, heck if anything it will be my own journal I already have 5 years in it. I did go back and clean some of the previous writings mostly spelling and it was blast to re-read them.

Well nite all.