Drifus' Travels

Honestly I can not believe it’s been a week and how much peace I have within myself. I just looked at my post from the day Beth passed and I was ok with it. Sure I miss her but I have come to terms that I must move on and she will always be in my memories and heart. I went over to Beths house today and cut the yard and spoke to her oldest. He seems to be holding it together on the outside, though he is busy with the house, figuring out what to do with all of the stuff, get a job and think about school. We talked about different ideas and plans of attack as there are many options of what to do next.

Me, I always seem to have plenty to do that I put off more often than not. None of it is life altering just things I would like to have completed.

As for the siding, the adjuster came out and gave me an idea of the damage. I am waiting to hear from the siding company to see what actual options are. I am hoping that the foamed back siding is financially doable as I like the insulation aspect of it. It would help me work towards my goal of making this place as green as I can without overboard.

Well back to other things.

First I want to say thanks to all who have been there for my in some form or another. Thanks I really appreciate it.

As the title says “I think I am back”.

So Beth dies Friday morning so after that is taken care of I head home to deal with what has happened etc. When I arrive home I find this,

So this little diversion was interesting, only my house suffered any damage. There were some outdoor grills tipped over as was the out house at the quarry, but not a single piece of damage to anyone else.

Just goofy.

Well I have been fortunate that a busy social calendar has minimized the pain of the previous mentioned events. Steve (her youngest) came over and spent the night and most of the following day. We watched movies, he played xBox and I caught up on emails of people who responded. The next night Larry had what I would call “I am going out of town and I have all of this food that was brought over” potluck. The food was good and the time spent with friends and family was really nice. I am feeling better, at least I don’t fall into the dark place. Don’t get me wrong I miss her, but I know she would want me to move on and enjoy my time here as much as possible. So that’s why I am back posting.

On to new things, the insurance adjuster was here as was the guy I have contracted for my new siding. It is not hard to guess they are going to replace the entire side. Now I have to deal with the association on color matching as I do not want to reuse what is there. I am sure the siding is fine as the other 100+ units are fine but there is definitely some odd wind happenings.

Today at 6:08 am this morning Beth died, she past on in her sleep as she wanted to.

We had gathered the night before to see her and say goodbye as she really had deteriorated since the previous Sunday. Her sons and their girlfriends, David and Megan, Steve and Angelina, her brother Keith and his best friend Jo Ann, her brother Larry and his partner Jeff and myself. We all took turns visiting her throughout the day and she recognized every one of us.

I sent an email to Larry asking if I could “move in” so I could be close by for the end. Well I had already packed and arrived when I received his answer. So I went in to see Beth and she was sleeping and the movie Devils Advocate was playing on the TV next to her. Since it was on DVD I know it was a request, though ironic. I sat with her for about 1.5 hours, I kissed her several times and thanked her for a wonderful life that she had given me. While I sat there I also thought about all of the great things and good times we had together.

Later that night, we had a family meeting to see where everyone was emotionally and to make sure they are ready for what was about to happen.

Keith and Jo Ann left for the night, the kids, Jeff and Larry played dominoes. I had to leave because I forgot something. I headed out at about 10:15 pm and got back about 1130 pm. It was tough getting to sleep as I would peer over the railing of the loft to check on her.

I had checked on her at about 4:50 am and she was still breathing. Shortly after 6 am I heard her brother Larry come into the room as I was in the loft above, I looked over the railing and he looked up at me and said “she’s not breathing”. I came down the stairs and confirmed what he had said.

Beth Minnesota Science Museum 2002

Beth Navy Pier 2002, my favorite picture I have taken of her.

For those of you who never knew her or maybe only through my writing you missed a wonderful person. She always had a spark of immaturity that made her always seem younger than she really was.

She was the first person in my life who I felt true love for and received it just as well. I loved her more than anything in life, she will truly be missed.

Minutes after the end

Elizabeth Ann Loretto McDonnell
10-08-1956 / 08-20-2010 53 Years Old
Bethy, I love you.

Dave

Well just got back from sitting with Beth while her brother and his partner go out for a night. Overall she is good, I have seen her better though. I made a spaghetti dinner and took it over for the 6 of us. Everyone seem to like it and made several comments about it.

So once everyone left Beth and I sat and watched TV, I fix her a plate for dinner, which she enjoyed. We talked about nothing really important, just hung out and enjoyed each others company.

I think subconsciously avoid people when they are sick. I rubbed her back and hugged her and kissed her on her head. She then made a comment that no one touches her and that it felt really good. I guess I have been around so many sick people all of my life, even if it’s the flu, mono, strep that I just don’t really think about it. I know cancer is not contagious and even if it was I do not think it could change how I am. If anything I have a better immune system because of my “exposures”.

Ok enough of the semi-depressing side of things. Well if I believed in hell this would be the week to know what it’s like. It’s been close to 100 for almost a week and I am glad to be working from home. I really hate heat and would rather see it snow right now.

I bought some stools for my kitchen, I can not decide if they are going to stay or not. I like the stools themselves but they might be a bit tall for the island bar. Speaking of house, I finally finished the core of my premise wiring and am looking forward to this winter so I can get back into the attic and finish my other projects, like ceiling fans etc. I guess I can eventually start on picking out the fans for each room and get the conduit and switches etc over the next few months.

Well I could ramble on about everything in my head but that might get scary. Also it’s almost 1 AM and work will be here before ya know it.

Nite

Well Beth is all moved into her brothers place and she seems a lot happier. No longer does she have to look around her place and think about things that need to be done. She was up in the morning to see her brother off to work and stayed up a while longer watching some TV.

I arrived early to sit/visit with her, she seemed in really good spirits and fairly well rested. I set up her laptop with the docking station, printer and wireless network. I also brought over the computer I built for her in case the company wants their equipment back, so it’s all setup as well. I checked in on work since I was on call and all was quiet. Beth took a nap around 5:30 and woke up about 8:00 pm and had some dinner. She stayed up and talked with Jeff and I and was a few shows with us. She then headed back to bed for the night. I finished a few things for her, documented her nightly meds and told her that I was not going to stay over as planned. Since I work from home it just felt better being at home with the way I have things setup.

I headed out about 9:30 pm and let Jeff know Beths status before I left.

I’ll be going over to her house and cutting the yard and checking on things in general to make sure things are as they should be. I am glad it’s not a 100 degrees around here, though it looks like it’s going to be that again in a few more day, DRATS!!

Nite.