Fri 20 Aug 2010
08/20/2010 The sad end of another wonderful person
Posted by dave under Beth
[14] Comments
Today at 6:08 am this morning Beth died, she past on in her sleep as she wanted to.
We had gathered the night before to see her and say goodbye as she really had deteriorated since the previous Sunday. Her sons and their girlfriends, David and Megan, Steve and Angelina, her brother Keith and his best friend Jo Ann, her brother Larry and his partner Jeff and myself. We all took turns visiting her throughout the day and she recognized every one of us.
I sent an email to Larry asking if I could “move in” so I could be close by for the end. Well I had already packed and arrived when I received his answer. So I went in to see Beth and she was sleeping and the movie Devils Advocate was playing on the TV next to her. Since it was on DVD I know it was a request, though ironic. I sat with her for about 1.5 hours, I kissed her several times and thanked her for a wonderful life that she had given me. While I sat there I also thought about all of the great things and good times we had together.
Later that night, we had a family meeting to see where everyone was emotionally and to make sure they are ready for what was about to happen.
Keith and Jo Ann left for the night, the kids, Jeff and Larry played dominoes. I had to leave because I forgot something. I headed out at about 10:15 pm and got back about 1130 pm. It was tough getting to sleep as I would peer over the railing of the loft to check on her.
I had checked on her at about 4:50 am and she was still breathing. Shortly after 6 am I heard her brother Larry come into the room as I was in the loft above, I looked over the railing and he looked up at me and said “she’s not breathing”. I came down the stairs and confirmed what he had said.
Beth Minnesota Science Museum 2002
Beth Navy Pier 2002, my favorite picture I have taken of her.
For those of you who never knew her or maybe only through my writing you missed a wonderful person. She always had a spark of immaturity that made her always seem younger than she really was.
She was the first person in my life who I felt true love for and received it just as well. I loved her more than anything in life, she will truly be missed.
Minutes after the end
Elizabeth Ann Loretto McDonnell
10-08-1956 / 08-20-2010 53 Years Old
Bethy, I love you.
Dave
I was saddened to hear of Beth’s passing. Your message about Beth was wonderful and heartfelt. Beautiful. Anyone reading this can feel the love you two shared. It was an honor to have known Beth the short time I had to know her.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
Your friend,
John
Oh Dave, I’m so sorry. I had no idea she was in such bad shape, I hadn’t talked to her in about a month. I can’t imagine the depth of your loss. You two were so good together.
I’m sorry honey, I will miss her with you. :’/
Love you,
Erika
Dear Dave,
I am without words to express what I feel about the news this morning (GMT) of Beth’s passing. I wanted to send you something right away to let you know I have received your beautiful email, and that I am here for you, what ever you may need, or I can do, please let me know. She was a wonderful kind person who was very important to me, I am so happy that she experienced your great love in her life, I know she was the happiest she ever was with you.
I am flooded with so many memories, feelings, I feel oddly numb, then I cry, then smile when I remember one of the many fun things we did. I hope you understand that I will need a bit of time to write more but I wanted to touch base with you and acknowledge your message.
All my love,
Patricia
Hello Dave:
What a wonderful send-off for Beth, with all of you she loved so much surrounding her, and letting her go in the way she wanted it to be. I am sad for your loss, and I hope I know you well enough to say that I know you will go on with your life and find beauty in it every day.
Love, Doug
dear sweet dave…thank you so very much for your wonderful letter to us. we are so very sorry to hear of this loss. and yet, i thought this might be the news. you always hope for miracles…but the miracle must have been that she was here at all! thank you for loving her and seeing all that was good. you two were sweet together and i’m so fortunate to have spent a special time with you both when you viisited us in atlanta. i was just about to write you or larry to get an update…as i feared i hadn’t heard from beth.
i will hold this message very dear. i am so thrilled to hear she was surrounded by such love. i believe that is a very successful life.
she and i were able to talk and laugh about illness and treatment without people thinking we were too depressing. and one thing i know…there are people who are patients and there are people who are caregivers. i think, being the patient, that the caregiving role is much more difficult. watching loved ones is so tiring and sad. i know that bev loved you soooo much and will always be grateful to your wonderful love and care. some people never get to experience this. how lucky you both were and are.
she played her role as long and as best she could. your role is to survive…and thrive for yourself and her. she wants that. and i hope she sends you messages often to remind you to thrive and care for yourself now. i think she’ll say hello to a few people in heaven first and search for a geo-cache.
how wonderful her pain is gone. i’m sooooo sorry that your great love will make your heart ache.
your place to tell me???? sweetheart, i couldn’t be more pleased that it was you to tell me with such great detail at such a sad time. i will cherish your message. please don’t hesitate to write me. you’re our family!!!!
dree xoxoxoxoxoxo
Dave–I am so sorry. Beth was always so sunny and selfless and full of life, even in the face of incredible adversity. I remember her from when she babysat me, and I was always glad to see the two of you together. It’s just terrible to hear she’s gone.
Take care,
Jason
Thank you so much for the pictures and telling me what happened. My boss called me yesterday morning and gave me the very sad news. She was such a BEST friend even though we were so far apart, I could always count on her. I would like to share the pictures of Beth with some of her close friends here at Cricket, they are a wonderful reminder of her spirit. She made such a difference in everyone’s life that she touched! There were many sad folks yesterday when they heard the news.
Cricket is putting together a fund in her memory. I know they want to give the money to the family (if there is a need) or contribute to a charity in her name. Please let Larry know so he can tell Paul Castelli, our boss, their preference.
I am truly sorry for your loss, I know she will be missed by many!!
Debra
Dear David and family,
Thanks for your sweet journal of about Beth’s departure from this earth. We are so sorry and sad to hear of this news. We are happy that all of the family could be close at this time. Blessings to you and the boys, Mary and David Gamache
Dear David,
My heart goes out to you on the loss of your loving companion Beth. I’m
so glad you got to be with her in the final hours. You and she have
had such a warm loving relationship almost right from the time you met
rather accidentally at Pat’s wedding. Your time together enriched both
your lives. The loss seems greater because of your depth of caring but
I hope as time goes by you will be able to feel grateful for the time
you had together. Many people never have that in their lives.
I know your love and support made Beth’s illness more endurable for
her. She was a good woman and cared very much for you. I am sorry she
is no longer part of our families life. I hope she is in a better place
now
I think I know you well enough to say that I feel you will be able to
cope with this tragedy even though there will be lots of pain. You are
a strong good and caring man. If you are able you can come out and stay
with us for a while to receive love and support and R and R.
We love you very much.
Grandma and Alan
Dave,
My Dear Friend,
We are so sorry to here that Beth has passed away. If there is anything we can do, please let us know. Beth was a dear friend and we will miss her very much. We have been friends for a very long time and I want you to know that I am here for you if you need me. Will there be a memorial service? At times like this I always seem to be at a loss for words, but my thoughts and prayers are with you!
Your friend,
Jeff
Dave, I just saw this email forwarded from Jeff this morning. I am truly saddened to hear of Beth’s passing. When we visited over Memorial Day she was so positive and forward-looking, talking about things coming up and and waiting to feel better after that current round of chemo. We sat on the steps after dinner at that ice restaurant that night, and she talked about her bucket list, all simple things that I remember, swimming, riding a horse, getting in with nature because she always pictured herself a nature girl. She so loved you and wanted the best for you, she talked with me a bit about that as well. You were one of the people she counted in her life as among the top blessings. I am glad you could be there with her at the end, whether she was alert or not she would have felt your close presence.
Are there memorial plans? Jeff and I loved her very much, she was an amazing vital spirit. I hope you can feel our love and support for you across the miles.
Love, from Jeannine
Dear Dave:
I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss. E-mail is such a poor format for this, but I wanted to make sure you know in a timely manner that my thoughts and prayers are with you during your time of grief.
My memories of Beth from come from many years ago. She always struck me as a very kind, engaging and sharp person.
It is times like this that I most feel the physical distance that separates me from you and others of my family. I wish I could help you in person during your time of pain.
Love Joel
Dave,
I am so sorry for your loss of Beth. Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of her; may you find peace in them. She has been in my prayers and I will keep you there now.
Love,
Tim & Lisa
Dave,
So terribly sorry to hear about Beth! Our best to you and Beth’s
family. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Please take care! Tim