If you have read any of this site in the past few years you would know that I have a dear friend who has terminal cancer. This is not the first time I have been around someone dying of cancer, I am becoming a pro and I am not proud of that.

Here is the issue, Beth fell a few days ago and almost broke her nose. She got dizzy and was out of breath and fell. She remembers falling just before she hit the floor. Here oldest son heard her fall and found her on the floor with blood on her clothes and on the floor. So he made some calls, to me, hospice and one of her brothers.

Next thing I know there is a standing order that she can not be left unattended 24 x 7. Now she has fallen twice before a month ago or so and only sustained bruises. Now before you get opinionated keep reading.

So since the fall she has been assisted to the point that she is almost bed ridden. I was over there the other day and she wanted to get a new pair of readers and a puzzle box from Walgreens. Then the discussion went down the path that she can’t go unless there is 2 people with her (she has a wheelchair if needed and portable oxygen). Then the conversation went to she could go closer to when she woke up from a nap so she would have more strength. Then the subject changed to something else to avoid a resolution.
The other things are decisions being made for her more or less without her input.

I honestly think that doing this or treating people like this speeds up their incapacitation, making life harder on the person who is ill and then adding stress to the caretakers. (Who don’t realize this) I know her family has her best interests in mind but she does not have brain cancer, she can still walk, talk etc. She understands that she should take more time to get out of bed and that asking for assistance is ok. Though she is a DNR, even she doesn’t want to die by falling at home.

So if you read this, thanks. Be patient, spend time discussing things with them. Just because they can not answer you as if they were 20-something, listen and take what they think and feel into consideration.

I am sure this will rub some people. It is my observation as I have been down this road with my mom and Beth when she had cancer earlier and I was the ONLY one caring for her.

Nite 😀